Indiana Jones’ Latest Swiss Cheese Production

I think the best way to describe what I experienced in the theater regarding Indiana Jones yesterday is what I wrote in an e-mail I just sent to a friend:

I went to see the new Indiana Jones movie yesterday… H-O-R-R-I-B-L-E. There it is. I’ve written it. It is, bar none, the worst Indiana Jones film ever made. How that thing is number one is beyond me. I would definitely wait for the dvd, and even then I would only rent it after it had gone through its “New” phase on the shelves.

It was that bad.

The movie has more plot holes than all the Swiss cheese factories you can think of. From the very beginning of the film, despite Kate Blanchett (who I normally REALLY like!) having an accent that ricochets off of a few continents and looking like Natasha Fatale of the Rocky & Bullwinkle, I found my faced scrunched up into that position no movie goer likes to experience, you know that “WHUH?!?” position. It doesn’t get any better throughout the movie, nor does it go away once the credits start rolling. This movie was a bomb. I mean, it was REALLY bad.

Now, before you go wondering if I’m being just a tad bit TOO harsh, bear in mind that I forced myself into the mindset of the 15 year-old little guy I was when my aunt Ada first took me to see Raiders of the Lost Ark some 27 years ago. I left open all the doors allowing plenty of room for one impossible escape after another. That’s part of the adrenalin kick that I look forward to when I go see an Indiana Jones movie. After all, it’s just a movie, right? Well, while there are definitely enough hair-thin escapes, the plot holes are so mammoth in size as to be distracting.

I won’t ruin it for you by revealing anything, but you can’t say I haven’t warned you. But just for safety’s sake: wait for the dvd.

Laterz.

 

 

 

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